I think I won the penis lottery.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize