weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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