A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
