So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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