You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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