Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
