I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
