he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
