There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
