All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
