three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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