Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
