Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Duck Duck Cougar?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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