So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
