Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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