So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
