Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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