babies were throwing up all over the place
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Are my feet made of real feet?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
