24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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