well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
