I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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