the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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