We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
