i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
