he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
