Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
