Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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