dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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