arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
