why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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