He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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