she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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