I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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