I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize