I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
