I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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