Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
