Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
