How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
