So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize