Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
