That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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