she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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