Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize