R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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