I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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