You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
