i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
