wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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