Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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