I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
