I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
