okay pat passed out under dana's car
vagina is talking i cant
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
