what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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