I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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