I puked a lego.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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