Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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