i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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