is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
