quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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