Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
