You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
